Days without Zhu zhu Days 12

Wow . FRom Days 1 suddenly to Days 12 .. Cuz i on my 2NTM no choice just stand by finish only.. This couple of Days i think a lot, a lot about us. Dunno why i still very Emo ,a lot of my friends ,my army buddy even officer come and console mi.. like wat i always tell them i choose this path, i choose to be patient and wait but life still goes on.. the earth wont stop spinning juz bcuz of me.. thanks to all my buddy tat care for me. Nowadays everydays is busy i think this month i will hardly have time update my blog.. Haix no choice who tell me to be Commando i choose this path cuz i wish i can find a better job in the future bcuz as a Commando there will give us a testimonal to help us find job easiler. I do it for her and our future, once i chose i cant quit.. Everyday is marching one day SAF day one day NDP , really very tired and struggling without u by my side somemore keep kanna confine due to 2NTM until end of this month..My only wish now is to march in the NDP parade i wish u will watch it ,i train so hard in marching even i`m not gd at it cuz u say u wan to see me in the NDP parade in my NO. 1 uniform. I always remember , dunno why those image of us keep popping out in my brain make me feel tat u are still with me . When i`m in my training shackest time i will always remember how i think of u and just continue the training never choose to fall out or give up. Maybe tat my detemine of love to u is tat much. Every night when i was alone sitting down at the staircase beside my bunk smoking i will think of u, worry that u got enough sleep i noe u sleep a lot but always sleep very late it not gd for ur body ,u should know ur body is weak. Sometime before u sleep u muz drink milk ,dun sleep with a empty stomach cuz u always wake up so late like 1 plus later end up gastric pain. Always here pain there pain ,tell u to stretch more then u will not have so many pain all over ur body le. tat y when i know u go out just nice my 2NTM stand by finish i go buy thing tat i think u will need it and leave it in ur house and leave.I`m only a NSF i dun have a lot of money,i cannot provide what u wan, but i think i can provide what u need. i know u going out with him so i dun wan u to see me then later u were have to face him again it kind of weird so i chose to drop by when u not at home. When i go coffeeshop to eat , i saw ppl drinking green tea i will think of u cuz it ur favourite drink, i use to drink coke but without a green tea beside my coke i always feel weird tat why at time i will order green tea .. My daily life is almost everything about u, As i was going home today morning i went into NTUC when i saw the strawberry at the fruit section without any doubt u appear in my mind ,ur favourite fruit. even i was eating in camp when i saw vegetables, beanspout ,onions it make me recall that u hate this food u and i will always help u pick all this out from from ur plate .whenever u eat prawn i will always be the one that help u peel off the prawn shells.. i know u always dun really know how to use fork and knife smoothly when u eating roti prata and western food i will be there to help u cut all the food into small pieces before let u eat.. TOO many thing le.. i dun even know how to say finish. Still crying almost every nights ,juz dunno why but it do really help me to relax. But it still hurts. I slowly begin to forgets how to smile le, trying hard to smile but end up always giving a fake smile. I begin to choose lonely bcuz when i`m with a group a ppl they laugh and jking around the happier that moment is ,i will feel whats really worth happy about. most o the times when i go out i will put my hand in my pocket cuz there is not more reason for me to leave my hand outside without holding the hands of my love one. Miss U so much my Love. ........